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TERRIFIC. REAL JAPANESE PEOPLE EAT THE REAL DEAL. FOR INSTANCE, LIKE THIS SWEET SHRIMP. IT’S RAW, AND IT’S STILL GOT ITS HEAD. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT IS SOME PHENOMENAL AMA EBI. I’M ALL ABOUT THE AMA EBI.
AND I ALWAYS LIKE TO TOP IT OFF WITH SOME UNI. YOU KNOW, I’M AN UNI-OLIC. I NEED TO GO TO UA MEETINGS. [ LAUGHTER ] OH, YEAH. THIS STUFF IS CRAZY GOOD. [ LAUGHTER ] PHENOMENAL. SO NEXT TIME YOU GO TO A SUSHI BAR FOR A BUSINESS DINNER WITH ASSOCIATES, DON’T ACT LIKE A ZERO. GET MY BOOK AND ORDER LIKE A CEO. KONBANWA! >> ANYTHING ELSE, MR. DOUCHE? [ LAUGHTER ] >> APPARENTLY THAT’S MY LAST NAME IN JAPANESE. NOPE, JUST THE OKANJO, PLEASE. THAT MEANS ‘CHECK.’ [ APPLAUSE ] >> HI, I’M MELLOW POP FOLK SINGER, JACK JOHNSON. I LIKE TO KEEP IT SUPER CASUAL. THAT’S WHY I ALWAYS GO BAREFOOT. BUT SOMETIMES, THERE ARE PLACES YOU CAN’T GO WITHOUT CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES. >> TABLE FOR TWO, PLEASE. >> I’M SORRY, SIR, WE CANNOT SERVE YOU WITHOUT CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES. >> THAT’S WHY I INVENTED A NEW KIND OF CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOE FOR THE LAID BACK LIFESTYLE. JJ CASUALS. KEEP IT CASUAL WHATEVER KEEP IT NATURAL WITH CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES THAT LOOK LIKE FEET THINGS GET HECTIC BUT DON’T SWEAT IT KEEP IT JJ CASUAL UH-HUH DO YOU LIKE TO KEEP IT MELLOW CAN YOU DIG IT CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES THAT LOOK LIKE FEET >> I’VE TOLD YOU, WE CANNOT SERVE YOU WITHOUT CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES. >> BUT HE IS WEARING CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES. >> OH! JJ CASUALS. MY APOLOGIES, SIR. RIGHT THIS WAY. JJ CASUAL CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES THAT LOOK LIKE FEET [ APPLAUSE ] >>> HEY, HOW YOU DOIN’? WELCOME TO THE SHOW. YOU’RE WATCHING ‘JOPLIN ALIVE,’ JOPLIN, MISSOURI’S, ONLY VIDEO PODCAST. ALL RIGHT. I’M BRENDAN KERN, AND WITH ME, AS ALWAYS, IS MY OLDEST FRIEND, LANE SINGLETON. HOW YOU DOIN’, LANE? >> I’M DOIN’PRETTY BAD ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL RIGHT. WE GOT A HECK OF A SHOW — >> AM I REALLY YOUR OLDEST FRIEND? >> YEAH, WE TALKED ABOUT THAT BEFORE. >> OH, MAN. I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT AGE, BUT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT DURATION. >> YEAH. >> THAT PUTS A WHOLE NEW SPIN ON OUR FRIENDSHIP, MAN. >> I GUESS IT DOES. >> WHOA. >> LANE, WHY DON’T YOU PLAY ‘GOOSE.’ I JUST WANNA LET EVERYONE KNOW WHAT OUR COORDINATES ARE. >> NOW WE’RE COMING TO YOU FROM THE BACK BOOTH INSIDE THE BENIGAN’S. YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT OFF I-69 AND HEATHRIDGE BOULEVARD. >> I LOVE THE HELL OUT OF THIS PLACE, MAN. >> YOU DO. >> WHO HAD THE CHICKEN RANCH POTATO SKINS? >> THAT WOULD BE ME, RIGHT HERE. OUR SERVER TONIGHT IS AN OLD FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL. >> AND THE GIRL THAT BROKE BRENDAN’S HEART — JANET GENTNER. >> SHUT UP, DUDE. >> DUDE, IT’S ALREADY OUT THERE. >> DID YOU HAVE THE SOUTHWESTERN EGG ROLLS? >> HELLS YEAH, I DID. THEY COME WITH THAT SWEET PINEAPPLE PEPPER-CREAM SAUCE. >> WE LOVE THAT STUFF. >> GEEZY CREASY. I’D EAT MY OWN HAND IF IT WAS COVERED IN THIS SAUCE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> SO, JANET. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS AFTER WORK? >> OH, I DON’T KNOW. I’M PROBABLY GONNA DO KARAOKE AT THE HOLIDAY NN. >> OH, YEAH? >> YEAH, MAYBE WE CAN SING A DUET? >> OH, I DON’T THINK THAT’S A GOOD IDEA. MY BOYFRIEND’S GONNA BE THERE. >> OH. IS HE BACK FROM IRAQ? >> YEAH. HE’S DEAF IN ONE EAR NOW, SO I SHOULD REALLY STAY WITH HIM. >> OKAY. YEAH, I GOTTA RESPECT THAT. EXCUSE ME, SIR. YOU KNOW — OH, WELL. >> I COULD MAYBE MAKE OUT WITH YOU SOME TIME. I JUST DON’T WANNA SING A DUET WITH ANOTHER MAN IN FRONT OF HIM. THAT’D JUST BE RUDE. >> OKAY. >> BYE. SEE YOU JANET. >> GEEZ, JANET. WE DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR LIFE STORY OR ANYTHING. SHE’S A REAL CHATTER BOX, MAN. SHE NEEDS TO BE, LIKE, MORE OF A LISTENING BOX. >> GO EASY ON HER. YOU KNOW, HER BOYFRIEND JUST LOST HIS HEARING. >> THAT’S PROBABLY THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO HIM, IF YOU ASK ME. >> YOU CAN’T SEE THAT. LET’S KEEP THIS SHOW MOVING. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> HOLY MOLY. ALL RIGHT. WE’RE GONNA BRING OUT OUR GUEST TONIGHT. THIS GUY THROWS THE BIGGEST PARTIES IN JOPLIN. >> YEAH, YEAH. JOPLIN IS ABUZZ WITH THIS GUY’S BAD-ASS PARTIES. >> PLEASE WELCOME JULIAN. >> THANK YOU FOR COME ON THE SHOW, JULIAN. >> I WANT TO ANNOUNCE THAT YOU COME TO MY PARTY THIS WEEKEND, ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS WILL BE AT THE PARTY. >> WHAT I DON’T GET IS HOW YOU GET SUCH A HIGH RATIO OF HOT BABES TO AVERAGE-LOOKING DUDES. LIKE ME AND MY FRIEND RIGHT HERE. NO OFFENSE, MAN. >> NO, NONE TAKEN. >> ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS LOVE MY PARTIES. THEY COME TO MY PARTIES. THEY ARE ALL VERY PRETTY GIRLS THAT COME. >> THIS GUYS GOT A ONE-TRACK MIND, MAN. >> PRETTY GIRLS AND PARTIES. >> THAT’S ABOUT IT. >> I ALSO LIKE WINE. >> OH,christian shoes, WELL, THAT’S A TRIFECTA, RIGHT THERE. >> SO, JULIAN, ANYTHING ABOUT THIS PARTY WE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT? >> YEAH, IS THERE, LIKE, A DRESS CODE? LIKE, NO FLIP FLOPS, OR — >> OH, COME ON, MAN. YOU KNOW YOU JUST WANT TO KNOW IF YOU CAN WEAR YOUR SHORT-SHORTS. >> WELL, I GOT THE LEGS FOR ‘EM, MAN. >> OH, THAT’S TRUE. >> HE’S GOT HIS MOM’S KNEES. >> HEY, JULIAN. LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, BUDDY. WHY YOU KNOW, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TALKING WITH A FRENCH ACCENT, MAN? WHAT’S THAT ABOUT? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> YEAH, I KIND OF NOTICED THAT, TOO. I MEAN, YOU GREW UP THREE HOUSES DOWN FROM ME, MAN. [ LAUGHTER ]

LOAD-DATE: March 15, 2006

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